Amitabh Bachchan completed 70 on October 11 this year. And on June 3, 2013 Jaya Bachchan and he will celebrate their Ruby (40th) wedding anniversary.
The petite Jaya Bhaduri and the tall, lanky Amitabh Bachchan make an unusual couple. While she appeared peppy and mischievous, he was the quiet, introspective and brooding sort. But both of them are a powerhouse of talent. We decide to get to know the man behind the actor through the lady who has stood by him for 40 years. Initially, she’s reluctant. “I’m not the interview-giving kind. He’s the talker, I’m the doer,” she says. “Besides, we’re very boring people. We don’t have any adventures.”
But Mrs Bachchan finally relents. She tells us, in her own words, about their four decades of togetherness.
He has redefined age
When you hear someone is 70, you think that’s hell of a lot, but when you see Amit, interact with him, you think, 70? No, can’t be. He has redefined age.
The first time I saw him was when he visited the Pune Film Institute with director KA Abbas, but I was introduced to him on the sets of Guddi. He was supposed to play the role eventually done by Samit Bhanja, but Anand released and Hrishikesh Mukherjee didn’t want a known face to play the character of a man who wasn’t impressed with cinema.
I was impressed by him and somewhat in awe of him as he was Harivanshrai Bachchan’s son. I definitely felt he was different though people laughed at me when I said that. I voiced my feelings and said he’s going to make it big. Even though I was aware he wasn’t the typical hero. I fell in love with him very soon. I used to call him lambuji till Shweta started calling him by that name too. I realised it was time to stop. After Shweta was born, we had a maid to help during the day but at night, we’d do everything ourselves. In fact, on Sundays Amit would take over. He’d even bathe her. During Abhishek’s time, he couldn’t be as involved with the family, as he was very busy.
He’s close to both our children. Whether he’s closer to Shweta or Abhishek, well... that depends on what we’re talking about. Amit depends a lot on Shweta, especially when it comes to his writing or reading.
Abhishek was the baby of the family till he himself became a father. Now, I see Amit and Abhishek sharing a lot more — man to man. He was ecstatic when we got to know Aishwarya was expecting. He could barely hold himself for the first four months but once the doctor said it was okay to make the announcement, he broke the news on Twitter. Aaradhya looked a lot like Abhishek when she was born. She has his features and body structure but now she’s more like her mother.
Secret of his success
It’s difficult for me to talk about him because he represents so many different things to different people. But I suppose only the family knows him for the real person he is. The secret of his success is his humility. I still don’t think he realises what he is, where he is or what he’s doing. He just does what he thinks is right. That’s such a normal way to do things for someone who’s a celebrity. He doesn’t think from the point, ‘I am Amitabh Bachchan’. Never. He’s constantly aware he’s Harivanshrai’s and Teji Bachchan’s son, Shweta’s and Abhishek’s father, Aishwarya’s father-in-law, and a grandfather. He thinks of all these before he does anything. He deals with situations and addresses problems the same way you or I would. Being in the position he’s in, it could be easy to get carried away and think differently.
Success never affected him. In fact, it irritates him. He goes into the ‘Who needs me? No one wants me. Meri picture nahin chalti hai’ mode. Or he’ll say, ‘There are so many younger people around.’ It’s annoying when he talks like that. And believe me, he’s not saying it for effect. He genuinely believes what he says. And that goads him to work harder, which is amazing. He’s not the sort who’ll lie back and say, ‘Theek hai, kar liya. Don’t need to do anymore.’ He doesn’t rest on his achievements. He takes whatever he does seriously, not just his film roles. It could be anything. That’s difficult to believe but that’s been his strength. People might ask why does he need to? He will listen to every filmmaker who approaches him, and genuinely give it a thought. He finds it difficult to say no. Another actor might wonder, ‘This role might be bad for me. It’s not going to help me’. But Amit will say, ‘Poor chap is depending on me’. To be honest, even I don’t have that kind of patience.
Being fair to all
“What has sorted him and helps him remain where he has been for so many years is the fact that he takes his success and his achievements in his stride. When he looks out onto the road and goes to meet the crowds outside the bungalow, he’s overwhelmed. He can’t believe that they are there to meet him. He tries to reason that it’s all a tamasha and that they don’t mean it. He’s not being modest, he really thinks so. He’s worried about the women in the crowd. He’ll alert the security to separate the men and the women so no harm comes to them. He’s very conscious of that. What is important to him is not to be unfair to anyone.
If he’s angry or takes a stand, you can be sure that it required a huge effort on his part. If he’s upset with someone, he can cut himself off completely. It’s over, finished, done. Giving vent to pent up emotions? Well I don’t know whether he has boxing matches in the bathroom. He finds anything negative distasteful. I react and get upset. He doesn’t. He’ll reason that you have to look at things from the other person’s point of view. In that sense, both of us are so very different from each other. But when I introspect, I find that we are alike in so many ways.
Alert, sincere, honest
When you are absolutely new and face failure, you want that one big chance to prove yourself. You may be a good actor, but your films don’t work. In the film industry, 60 per cent is luck and 40 per cent is availing the right opportunities. Today, I hear the younger generation talking about casting and who’s good and who’s bad. I belong to a generation when casting the right person for the role was most important. Hrishikesh Mukherjee felt, ‘You may be a star but you don’t suit my character so I won’t take you in my film.’ Today, I realise that talent is the least important. It’s all about lobbying. I didn’t do it and haven’t seen my husband do it. It’s all about marketing. If you’re lucky, your strategies work.
When he was struggling and his films weren’t doing well, it was upsetting. But when success came, he never took it for granted. Because when you’ve experienced a history of failure, you know it can happen again. So he was constantly alert, sincere and honest. And that’s what made him a star. And when he reached that position, he needed space, a huge amount of space. Because when you have so many things to think of, if you’re going to be bombarded by pressures from home as well, it can be tedious and taxing. So I became the man and the woman of the house and he, the fund raiser. I got so used to handling things on my own that now even when he has the time and is at home, I have to consciously tell myself, he’s at home and maybe, I should ask him and get another opinion. I’m sure he may have had problems with the way I dealt with things but he also gave me space.
In between, when he wasn’t working, he drove all of us crazy. He was busy buying an oven, washing machine… which was difficult for me as a housewife to accept. But he insisted saying, everything was old and to donate or throw them away and buy the latest models! He was trying to run the household which was hilarious, and painful.
He’s not a control freak but he does like to be in control of his life. And he has great consideration for the feelings of the rest of the family. His strong sense of being fair always surfaces. He never insists on taking decisions for the family. He never wants a say in day-to-day affairs.
Once in a while, he’ll mention that he liked a particular dish and ask if we could have it again. Of course, we all know his preferences and make sure they appear on the table. He gave up eating meat years ago. He’s a vegetarian but he eats eggs. He’s religious, spiritual and practices yoga every morning.
A family man
It’s strange but the only holidays we had when the kids were small were when we joined him on outdoors during the summer holidays. The entire family would go wherever Amit was shooting, my father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law’s family. Once Shweta and Abhishek went to boarding school, they wanted to be home for the holidays. When you’ve been away from home for so long, you don’t want to go anywhere. Amit loves being at home, he has never been the party-going sort. But we did attend premieres which were huge affairs then.
He loves having our grandchildren around — Shweta’s and Nikhil Nanda’s Navya Naveli (15) and Agastya (12) and now Abhishek’s Aaradhya. All of them are gadget freaks. Agastya teaches his grandfather how to use any new gadget. And if Amit gets stuck somewhere with his phone or computer, he calls him up and asks, “Agastya, how do I fix this?’ Both of them get onto FaceTime and when the problem is solved, you can hear Amit say, ‘Okay, thanks buddy.’
Today he has more time to spend with his grandchildren than he had when Shweta and Abhishek were young. He may not constantly play with them or talk to them but his security stems from the fact that they are there. As soon he gets home he asks, ‘Memsaab kahan hai, bhaiyya kahan hai, bahurani kahan hai?’ If Shweta is here he’ll also ask, ‘Baby kahan hai, bachhe kahan hai?’ Once he knows everyone is home safe, he heads to his room to sit and do his own thing. The children complain. Shweta’ll say she’s on a holiday here so why is he sitting in his study.
I’m not into gadgets, I know what I need to. If there’s a problem I call Abhishek or if he’s not around then Agastya. I prefer to read the newspaper in the morning rather than check the news on the internet. I stick to The Times of India in Mumbai and The Hindu when I’m in Delhi. Amit of course goes through all the newspapers because he needs to lambast on his blog at night. I read his blogs regularly and get to know quite a lot from them.
Everything that gets written about any of us is marked and archived. It’s a shame that we don’t give archives enough importance in our country. We’re in the process of buying as many of Amit’s films as we can to restore them as far as possible and preserve them. It’s not easy but we’re trying.
I don’t think my husband has any plans to pen his memoirs. There are enough people doing that for him. I can’t write to save my life. He stays up late to write his blog. That’s the time he can get his thinking machinery going when everything is quiet and there’s no one around to distract or disturb him. Because he writes late into the night, people have the impression that he suffers from insomnia but far from it. He can sleep anytime, anywhere. Ask the people he works with. He can fall asleep on the set, right on his seat between shots.
